TITS

No, not what you’re thinking. Not women’s breasts. TITS as in terr0rists-in-training. I am surrounded by them. Little thugs! Yeah I know it’s the “holiday season” here, and this month of fasting and being up all night and asleep all day is about to come to an end – and everyone here will celebrate with big feasts of slaughtered goats and sheep – and be braggarts whilst doing so by hanging the skin [carcass?] of whatever poor little innocent four-legged-furry creature you selected for practicing your “slit it’s throat” skill on over your balcony or privacy fence. [That just soooo impresses us Westerners!] But really, did you have to shoot off your stupid little firecrackers all night? And did you have to start at six o’clock again this morning?!?

Furious. I am furious about it. A bunch of unruly, undisciplined, misbehaving little boys and their big teenage brothers thought it was just too much fun to stop. I didn’t call security last night. Was fine with it at nine, ten, eleven o’clock, and even midnight, when these little TITS continued with their shenanigans. What the thrill is – or was – is beyond me, but apparently the smell of sulfur and the little bang must be in some way exciting – we’re not talking fireworks, here, just those little blue and red firecrackers… But I am NOT fine with it at six in the morning – on what is “Sunday” here – Friday morning.

The worst part of all this is it scares my Kids half to death. The Boy can handle it – he just barks back – and he’s got a pretty big, deep bark [as Great Danes do] – although in actuality his bark is much, much worse than his bite, so to speak… The Baby [a standard Poodle] on the other hand, not her, she’s having nothing to do with the bangs that are going off regularly one after the other. Little tail goes down flat against her butt and she is running scared. She’s not been outside to do “business” since early last night – and this morning when I had her out – all it took was ONE of the TITS’ little “bangs” and she’s racing for the door – as if to tell me whatever it is that’s out there is NOT safe. [She’s right. These boys are NOT safe. These boys are all TITS! Mark my words.]

So, when the TITS started in again this morning – so damn early – with their amusement, I went out to the street to tell them to stop it – that it is too early in the morning for this – that people are sleeping – and it didn’t stop. The little TITS probably got quite a thrill of seeing a western woman who’s legs and arms were showing – but unfortunately my being dressed in bike shorts and a tank top only piqued their testosterone levels enough to make them want to shoot off more firecrackers outside – not go inside and masturbate furiously. [Damn. Next time I skip putting a bra on first! No. No. No. That would be asking for rape! You know, the “uncovered meat” and all…]

But because it was so early, I had no choice but to call Security. Security came right away – and I was right there – outside – to point them to the evidence [the blue paper remains – long after the little “gunsh0t” sound] and I was told by Security that they would take care of it. Silly me. I should know better. Of course the problem won’t be taken care of. The TITS who live here in “main camp” are the spawn of their daddy’s who are big-wigs and thus NOTHING can happen to them. Everyone knows this, and because the security guys don’t want to lose their jobs, nothing can or will be done to control the TITS. Can only hope that the problem will control itself – which of course means that some sort of “accident” needs to happen.

I know, here’s a really fun idea! Why don’t all of you TITS see if you can hold onto the firecrackers as they go off – don’t throw them – keep them between your fingers – or put them between your teeth – or even better – why don’t you put them where the sun will never shine!!!