One big thank you and a shout-out to...

...phukktard No. 2! You are going to make flying a joy for all of us. Everyone. Hoo boy. While I am in a thanking mood, I better not forget to thank the jug-eared-jack-ass and his crackpot administration. Janet Napolitano said, "the system worked" regarding two men with dubious backgrounds and questionable intents who have flown NWA/Delta Flight 253 from Amsterdam to Detroit within the past week. She said what?!! Oh my gosh. Janet confirms for me that not only does she look like a finger puppet but that she certainly isn't smarter than one! Take a good look at her next time she's on the news. Does she not look like a finger puppet? Something about the shape of her. From the shoulders up. Never mind what she looks like. It is what she said. "...the system worked." Janet, you now officially become phukktard No. 3. [Janet has decided she misspoke and is back-tracking her statement now. Too late. We know exactly what you meant finger puppet.]

Wake up people! Wake up!!! What, exactly, is it going to take before you realize that there is a specific group of "bad people" out there that want for nothing less than to see us - Americans, Westerners - anyone who disagrees with their radical philosophy - lifeless. Lifeless! In some way, shape or form. That particular group of "bad people" will do just about anything to attain their goal. Anything. Absolutely nothing is going to stop them or get in their way. Including their own lives. The new airline rules? Nothing more than a trivial inconvenience to them. Major inconvenience to the rest of us, though. What has already become a test of the futility of one's patience - airline travel - is now going to become a living, breathing, wide awake horror show!

The new rules that are going to be put into place for those of us that travel by air are going to be so rigid that flying is going to be an absolute nightmare. A nightmare! Just getting through security is going to add an hour to travel time - if not longer. Oh, and by the way. The new rules? Nothing more than a complete and utter false sense of security and total waste of time. Carry on luggage is going to be hand-searched. Swell. Like I want my "personal items" manhandled by someone who may or may not have ever used hand-sanitizer. I do not even want to think about where that hand has been...

This is just grand. Like it is going to make a dayum bit of difference. It isn't going to take a rocket-scientist to figure out that if you want to take a plane down that putting the boom-boom device in your pants isn't going to work, and putting it in your carry on luggage is out [pluheeze - like the majority of TSA workers are even bright enough to figure out what something unknown is - but if you have a little pair of manicure scissors...]

A post over at Pamela Geller's place lists the new rules [Pamela got them from a reader with the following]:

My father is an airline Captain with one of South Africa's more prominent airlines and is affiliated with the South African Airways which flies into the US. As a result of the latest terrorism attempt on South West Airlines, the following Emergency Directive has been placed in effect and is applicable to any and all airlines flying within the USA.

Due to a person who tried and blow up a flight with fireworks, the US Transportation Security Administration had implemented an Emergency Security Directive that carries the following new requirements and is applicable to all carriers operating into the US with immediate effect.

Before Flight Boarding

- A physical search ("pat-down") by security or police officer prior to passenger boarding for 100% of the passengers

- 100% of carry-on baggage must be physically searched prior to passenger boarding

- All passenger communications systems (email, satcom telephone and SMS) must be disabled prior to boarding and remain disabled the entire flight

During Flight Within US Airspace

- No passenger announcement can be made indicating the aircraft's flight path or location over US cities/landmarks

- Any system displaying aircraft position or time to destination cannot be operated in flight. Therefore, the Airshow system and both forward and downard cameras will have to be disabled on passenger screens.

- Within 1 hour prior to landing all passengers must be seated and remain seated until deplaning at the gate

- No passenger can have access to his carry-on baggage

- Passengers may not have any article of personal belongings, pillows or blankets (bedding items for First and Business Classes). All passenger communications systems (email, satcome telephone and SMS) must be disabled prior to boardding and remain disabled the entire flight

- Passengers may not have any article of personal belongings, pillows or blankets (bedding items for First and Business Classes)

This is a joke. A joke! Not a single one of the new rules is going to make a dayum bit of difference.