And I mean pain! This morning I took the Mother-Fall. A big time Mother-Fall!!!
The Boy was on his leash in my left hand, and The Baby was on her leash in my right hand. We were casually sauntering along on our walk on a very pleasant, beautiful morning. Nuffie and her Mom were walking with us - as they have for the past couple of mornings. And as we came around a corner - from out of nowhere - a man in a purple shirt had the biggest German Shepard I have ever seen! I didn't see him until it was too late - my two very naughty Kids lunged for the German Shepard - pulling me through the bushes and across the pavement - and I went down - dragged over the asphalt of the parking lot. Somehow, and I do NOT know how, I managed to keep The Boy's leash in my left hand, but The Baby's leash came out of my right hand and she headed straight for the teeth of the German Shepard. The man was as startled as I was - and thankfully - he was able to keep control of his dog AND grab The Baby's leash and keep the two of them - The Baby and the Shepard separated. Oh, thank you! [My gosh, Pretty Princess! What the hell were you thinking?!? There is NO way you could have survived in a scuffle with him!]
Nuffie's Mom grabbed The Boy's leash from me as I collected myself and raised my tattered, bruised and bloodied body from the pavement and limped over and grabbed The Baby. The poor guy - with the purple shirt and the humongous German Shepard - asked me if I was alright. Yeah. Sure. My light blue shirt is permanently the color of the asphalt, the little plastic bowl that I carry ripped through the nylon of the fanny pack I carry it in - and thankfully didn't injure me - how it didn't, is a miracle - and there is blood oozing from my right shoulder, elbow and knee and thigh. It must have been when my elbow made contact and was raked over the pavement that I let go of The Baby's leash.
We were as far out in our walk as we could possibly have been. I should have called DH to come and get us. I didn't. I limped all the way home, pulling both Kids and telling them how bad they were and how if they were going to behave like that then there would be no more walks. They heard: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..." None of it was pretty. It is even uglier now - my injured body - swollen and turning funky colors. I am still furious at my two Kids for behaving like that. And, I can assure you we won't be walking anywhere tomorrow. My left thigh must have hit the pavement first - even though there is no ripped skin - it is just sore. Sore as in hurting sore. The right side of my body took the brunt of the abuse. My right shoulder hurts. I cannot lift my right arm or put it out straight - and it hurts no matter what position it is in - bending it is about impossible, but so is keeping it straight. How I didn't break a bone is beyond me. And, of course, don't cha' know, it is my bad right knee that is cut, banged up and swollen. And my right hip - I've got a huge purple and green "black and blue." The ride across the pavement scraped the leather off from the tops of my sneakers.
It all happened so quickly and in slow motion at the same time. I am in an awful shape. Thanks to my two dear, sweet Kids! Couch material. That's all I am going to be good for for the rest of the day, I'm afraid. Thankfully I'm reading a great book, and now, I truly have an excuse NOT to do any housework. I'm sure I am going to live - even though it will be an uncomfortable day - and probably a pretty uncomfortable night, too.
I'm going to take a picture of my shirt. Whether it will come clean or not remains to be seen.
My elbow, this afternoon, after this morning's Mother-Fall:
It IS one NASTY boo boo, that's for sure.
And, my leg, too. The picture doesn't do it justice. It is swollen... I'm betting it will turn purple and green like my hip. It doesn't hurt nearly as much as my shoulder and elbow, though.
Poor, poor me. Yes. I am willing to accept sympathy...