Wednesday, June 21, 2006

What IF there was a spider?

The woman who was locked in her house [What IF there was a fire?] – to all who commented – I agree, surely there is more to the story. But, who knows… In the meantime, on the same day, I missed this one in the paper, Arab News, it was just a couple paragraphs, buried on the bottom of a page.

It certainly would give one reason to believe that people just are not taking care of their mother’s here, in The Sandbox. This poor old woman – she’s 90! – has been forced to live in the stairwell of a building – without light, ventilation and a toilet, “because her children do not want to take care of her.” So, instead, she’s been resigned to have to live in what sounds to me like an ultimate spider habitat! Looking at the bright side [ha! there is no light!], her eyesight is deteriorating so if there ARE spiders she probably can’t see them.

The article sheds a little light [ha! there is no light!] on the lack of hygienic facilities, and why the woman is not getting charitable help.

Really, not to make light [ha! there is no light!] of the situation, because it truly is sad that anyone would be forced to live like this – but especially when you’re 90 years old – the woman has two sons and four daughters… Apparently the sons are “financially secure,” and one of the daughters living nearby said that she did not want to help her mother because she was “wicked.”

I have one son. I can assure you that through many years – those terrible teenage ones – he thought I was wicked – probably worse than wicked. I know I won’t end up living in a stairwell. My son wouldn’t do that to me. No, he’ll be putting me in a nursing home, instead. Probably one of those “homes for the aged,” you read horror stories about – abuse, lack of food, care, etc. Just as long as there aren’t any spiders…


  1. This is so sad, Sabra. You know that the few stories like this which come to light are simply the tip of the iceberg.

    Bedouin culture has always been very insular, but the building of walls is fairly new ... in the past, a family would've been held accountable by the extended family, tribe, sheik for this sort of situation. I guess what I am saying is that it seems as if the enormous amount of sudden wealth and the imposition of untenable wahhabi "rules" has created a situation which has undermined all that was good (responsibility to family and tribe) in Saudi culture. All cultures are plagued with people like the family of this women (elder-abuse is a problem in the west as well), but when there is no mechanism to redress these wrongs, the consequences are horrible.

  2. Awful story, but unfortunately not solely confined to the ME...Westerners have also their dumped seniors living in conditions that are just as horrifying.
    I also have one son, but will never be taken care of by him as I am his caregiver for always: he has Multiple Sclerosis and is quite handicapped. But luckily for me as a privileged citizen of Canada, I will have the tender mercies of the state at my disposal. Too bad human beings are not all afforded the same opportunities, whomever, wherever & whenever.
    A saddened shewolf

  3. As some may know, I put my own life on hold when my mother fell ill at 72. About fifteen years ago, I made her a promise (she was working as a nursing home nurse, at the time...) and I would stop by on occasion to share a lunch with her. She made me promise to never let her die in "one of these places"...

    I won't, if it means changing her diapers and spoon feeding her, which I did some of last year until her health improved.

    Mum and me made up a Twain-like quote together the other day.

    "Getting old isn't dificult, but tolerating it is..."

    Stop by and tell me a story--

  4. Saddened indeed!!!!!!,
    I can recall moaning to my boss because my mum wanted to take £10.00 house keeping money out of my first pay cheque,he replied,"Your mum is the best friend you will ever have",how true that has proved over the years,I'd of been in deep shit without her.
    Shewolf/Scott hats off to you for your dedication to your family.
    Scott I thought you were quitting blogging for a building project?


  5. ppl will make any excuse to not care for someone. the woman is 90... what can she possibly do at 90 yrs of age!? it's a horrible thing that they have her living in a stairwell... truly horrible. when one of the daughter's says she 'wicked', i wonder what they mean. weird that all the children have left her there.. you know they must know she's there. i wonder what this lady has done to bring such karma to herself. they always say, what goes around comes around... but, to me, she's too old to treat badly... but whose to say.


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