DSL Hook-Up

We now have DSL. Got it today – the nice man came at 8:45 this morning – and refused to come in until, of course, the “Kids” were “put away.” The Boy – I’ve said before – goes to his crate, happily, when he is told to. The Baby – HA! Runs for her dear, sweet little life if she thinks she is about to be put into her “torture chamber.” No matter. I put The Baby on her leash – got her all excited – she, is, of course, thinking “Walk Time!” This, naturally, makes The Boy go NUTS seeing that The Baby has a leash on and even though he is in his Happy Place that he is NOT going is not going over well with him, at all… Hopefully he was relieved to find out that all I did was walk The Baby upstairs to show the nice computer man where our computer is and where our telephone jack is. The nice computer man, apparently, was unable to concentrate with The Baby [who weighs all of forty pounds – she’s a six month old puppy for goodness sake!] in the same general vicinity. I had to lock The Baby in the kitchen – so now both Kids are barking, crying…

I know I’ve posted already about what a wonderful thing is it that we can dial “202” and have maintenance come and fix about anything, almost immediately. Well – they come – but don’t necessarily fix it whatever it is – and often this requires several visits from lots of different little laborers imported from a variety of countries.

We have a similar number to “IT” and we dial it and they “fix” whatever it is. A couple of months ago, when we got the new computer that I didn’t know we needed, with the big flat screen, the wireless keyboard and wireless mouse, and NO diskette drive, we called to get a DSL hook-up – we’ve been using dial-up. Yesterday I get a call that they have made it down the list of 450-something installations – and it’s our turn, finally – and that the DSL would be installed this morning at nine o’clock. I’ll give the workers in The Sandbox this – they are almost always early – unlike in the States where when they say your cable will be hooked up on whatever date – and they can’t give you a time…

The nice computer man is here for a little less than an hour. He says, “You are finished.” [I had no idea how much he meant this, at the time!] He clicked on the little “Explorer” icon and said, “You put this on – that is all you do.” Okay, maybe the English lacks some – but they are almost always early! And, the nice computer man leaves and I release the Kids from their misery.

About an hour later, I come upstairs, sit down at the computer and “put this on,” or “click” the “Explorer” icon. I get an error message. I can’t even recall exactly what it said, but I couldn’t get on-line, at all. I am not happy. I am no longer calling the computer man the “nice” computer man. I call the IT people. I tell them that my DSL was just hooked up, that the man left an hour ago, and now, I can’t get on my computer. I go through this exact same conversation with about a half dozen people over the course of an hour and a half. It is now almost one o’clock and I feel as though I have done nothing constructive with my day so far but try to explain what my computer is doing – and try – I tried so hard, I really, really did – to do whatever it was the IT people were telling me to do. I ended up, with the last guy, just losing it. It couldn’t be helped. He was telling me to do things much too fast – go here, do this, click on this – no right click – “tools,” no “properties.” What? “Which one was I supposed to click first?” It was useless. His parting words to me were to shut everything down and turn it back on in ten minutes and call back. WTF?!?

Speechless. He left me just speechless. No – I had plenty to say – but I was off in high-gear headed to the point of no return in my rage! Just fuming. Can’t describe it in words. Knew that I had to take a break – couldn’t work on the problem any more at that point. I knew I’d end up saying – or worse – doing something that I would later regret. So, went without a computer for the entire afternoon. Later – around four or so – I called the IT desk back. Explained the problem, explained that I’d spent an hour and a half on the phone earlier and no one seemed to be able to help me, blah, blah, blah. Finally, got “Agent #21’s” supervisor on the phone – he had a name – not a number [they use “Agent #16, #11, #34 when you talk to them – I don’t blame them though – because if people like me could identify them by name and find out where they live…]. So I talk to the supervisor. He promises to call me right back, “In Shallah.”

I know what “In Shallah” means! It means, “God Willing” and the moons all line up, and the day doesn’t end in “Y” and it starts snowing, you will get a call back. That was all it took. I went over the edge. I could barely talk. I ended up muttering through semi-hysterical sobs that this place doesn’t know how to do anything, that it takes eleven people to fix a dryer and a freezer, that it takes five refrigerator deliveries to get a freezer that is not broken or that fits, that the computer guy screwed up my computer and I don’t want to click and do stuff anymore I want someone to come fix it – at my house – right now – that it’s hardly my fault that I have no communication with the outside world and now the only communication I have they have taken away from me. WAAAWWAA!!! The guy tells me I need to calm down – that he will call me back – he promises. Yeah, calm down. Right…

He does call back. He tells me that he has spoken with his supervisor – there are always more supervisors here than workers – it’s the way it is – and that there is nothing they can do until the next business day. WHAT?!? Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no!!! This is a long weekend! I don’t know what Saturday is, here, but it’s a holiday, so you’re telling me that no one is going to be able to help me until Sunday? No. I don’t think so. I’m sure he’s thinking in the ten minutes we’ve been off the phone that I’ve had time to calm down and return to being a “normal, sane” person. He is wrong. He is really, really, really wrong! I almost feel sorry for him – nah, I don’t either – it was his fault for saying it would be Sunday until I could get my problem fixed… Yes, I might have said a few things I regret…

“You are going to leave me with this problem until Sunday, I have no way to go anywhere, I can’t just jump in my car and drive to the nearest ‘internet café’ to use a computer, and I wouldn’t be able to use one even if I could drive – or take a cab – because they are for men only! What kind of Country is this, why does everything everyone touches here just make things worse, and how can things possibly get any worse than they are?” I went on… It wasn’t pretty. “Okay. Fine. If Sunday is the best you can do, then I guess I don’t have much of a choice, pretty much like everything else here – my feet are tied together tighter than you ever tied a camel’s feet – women have no choices here – and for God’s sake if there was Vodka available then we’d all be alcoholics because that’s just the way things are here – YOU make us want to drink – and if everything wasn’t such a problem which you create for yourselves then this Country would be a lot further along than it is – and don’t even bother getting someone to fix my DSL on Sunday – just hook my computer back up the way it is and save me the aggravation that is just going to get worse because no one has a fucking clue in this place!” Slam! Conversation over. [That’s pretty much a general description of how the conversation went – I don’t have a recording of it to transcribe, but I know it was probably recorded – and I should care, but don’t at this point. They say on the recording when you call, “This conversation could be recorded for training purposes…” Train this, why don’t you!]

I did get a call back a few minutes later. It was the “nice” computer man that was here this morning. He wanted to know what the problem was… I explained, as rationally, as possible, at the time, and said that I needed it fixed, that someone has to come here and fix it. He asked me when? What? When?!? NOW!!! He was here in about thirty minutes, and for the time being, I think the problem is fixed. It’s a temporary fix. I don’t expect it to last long… That’s the way things are here. It took over a week to get a new refrigerator delivered – when all I had was a broken freezer door – they delivered several – it was an unbelievable parade of refrigerators coming in – and going out – and more work than it was worth. It took ten different men to fix my dryer hose. Do you honestly think that I think that my computer is fixed? Yeah, right! In Shallah…