Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Rumor Mill Thrill

Many of you already know, our dear Alhamedi [The Religious Policeman] has decided to just up and quit blogging in favor of writing a historical novel. What?!? As yet, none of us have been successful in convincing him to just write a short story instead and continue blogging. I live in the land Alhamedi wrote of, and admittedly there are times when you just have to create your own fun. Appearances can be deceptive at times, and from the following one might get the impression that it would appear that I obviously have just a little too much time on my hands [au contraire!] because I felt the need to create my own fun...
A couple of days ago I sent an e-mail to a co-commenter from Alhamedi’s site that I’ve gotten to know, only just barely, but whatever the reason decided that she could handle what I was going to send her. I accused “her” of being the reason that this fabulous blog was Khalas! [Arabic: finished! no more!] My e-mail went something like this:

“I'm guessing Alhamedi must have started making this decision - to stop blogging as The Religious Policeman - before today. These types of decisions, as we all know, are not ones made just willy-nilly, in a jiffy of a split second. I figure he started considering that there was just no sense in going on any longer - just shortly after you posted a comment that you wouldn’t be around to comment because you were planning a little the weekend get-away.”
I cannot possibly be the only one to conclude that this is highly suspicious: At the VERY SAME POINT IN TIME that this cute little commenter decides to take a “weekend get-away” she VOLUNTARILY relinquishes the oh so stunning cubic zirconia Tiara she’s been wearing for two or three weeks – maybe longer – an honor bestowed upon her for consistently and continually being the very first to post a comment on our favorite blog every day. Merely just a coincidence? Oh, I think not. My e-mail continued:

“Yep, NOW it's AAAALLLLLLL starting to make sense... Had you not have gone on your little weekend get-a-way [and, without a laptop? Why? Oh, why?!?], and then PUT THE ICING on Alhamedi's CAKE by relinquishing The Tiara, Alhamedi would NEVER have even considered giving up a daily column.”
Until just yesterday, mum was the word. I didn’t tell another sole that I had this knowledge, but for the accusation and confrontation via e-mail to the commenter that I believed should be the fall-person and take the blame for all that has happened in the blogosphere world these past few days. [Yep. Not only is “this” issue her fault, but if she can single-handedly be the cause of one blogger’s end, how do we know she hasn’t been a cause to the demise of others, as well?] I patiently held my tongue keeping this salacious scoop to myself - the why and how that the Religious Policeman is Khalas!

As a relatively short-time, but very, very devoted and faithful reader, I knew that eventually it would be my duty to get the truth out there, that the readers deserved to know, and that it was an obligation I had to live up to and come clean with, just spit it out – tell them – such an omission would be a serious injustice. I further concluded that my withholding the information would likely constitute a violation pursuant to the voluminous Rules and Regulations for Bloggers – and a fairly serious one at that - for which a first-time offender is punished by not being allowed to use his or her computer mouse for twenty-four hours and has to resort to using “shortcut” keys. Lastly, not only was this an injustice to everyone – that I knew but wasn’t telling – but the weight of the situation was such that I just had to get this off my chest or eventually the heaviness would eliminate my ability to breathe properly.

And, so, now you all know why I have consciously made the decision to not allow selfishness or confidentiality or any such other ridiculousness keep me from preventing the truth from being told. Yesterday I sent an e-mail to another co-commenter about this, but held back quite a bit. It was my sincere hope that the person at fault would step up to the plate and take her licks so that I wouldn’t have to be the one to rat her out. That was two or three days ago and it hasn’t happened yet. I am pretty sure it’s not going to happen tomorrow or the next day, either; she’s been given ample opportunity. Unfortunately, the e-mail that I sent yesterday, needless to say, quite upset the recipient who could hardly believe that the person responsible could possibly be the one at fault. You know who you are, “recipient,” and I regret that it was me and not “her” who told you.

So as to clear up any further confusion and prevent the rumor mill from spreading wildly out of control, I think it is only fair for you to know, should you hear from so and so that I know such and such… That my knowledge of this whole issue is totally, thoroughly void of any fact whatsoever, and that the theory I have concocted is based entirely on speculation and a vivid imagination. I figure that since this doesn't stop politicians all over the world from spewing rumors and vociferous falsehoods like lava from an erupting volcano, it shouldn’t stop me either!


  1. Now who else is on to me?

    What a great blog!! Talk about balm in Gilad, now all of us Alhamedi addicts have a blankie that we can tuck under our pouty chins while we suck our thumbs and wait for the depression to have it's way with us.

    Welcome to the blogosphere. My sources are telling me you're a new star in the blog heavens!

  2. Dark colored stilettos are a must. When you need to remove them for...certain occasions...you can find them even if half buried in the sand.

  3. Nothing goes better with an abeyah, Mary, that black patent leather! [And this way, if you've taken them off at night and it's dark, they "shine" when you aim the flashlight on them, whereas black leather doesn't.]

  4. You guys are funny... I must say I was a newbe to the Religious Policeman... but I like yours better. But hey, that's just me.

  5. The give-away slip: "We are both very excited about it."


    The blogospere wonders, who the hell is "we?"

  6. Lots of little kiddies playing in the sandlot, all under their hijab-niqab so noone can be the wiser.
    Games are such fun for this little crowd: "I'll show you mine if you show me yours!"
    Some are kept blind, some are the 'pigs in a poke', and some take their toys and go home in a huff.
    Now, now no rough stuff! There no Muttawa here to keep a steadying rudder on this sand-ship...

  7. It's an official blog!

    You got your first nasty little troll!

    You usually don't score one of those for at least a few weeks.

  8. I agree with your suspicions Sabra. Another small hint- when we were told Mr. A. consults this particular commentor for help with his blog, blog-book, same dif. And the plot thickens.

  9. but best wishes to both on the book.

  10. anonymous above was me- sorry about that


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