Monday, March 15, 2010

Thanks A Whole Lot

You phukktards that have screwed up flying for the rest of us. You know who you are.

As if going through security isn't enough of a hassle, taking off your shoes, removing liquids and gels. Will flying to the States from Doha, Qatar, require me to go through one of those full body scanners, too? I have no objection to doing so and firmly believe that flying is a privilege, NOT a right. To all who oppose to going through the full body scanners? Ride a camel to your destination. Take a boat. Walk. But you are not getting on any plane I am getting on if the rest of us have been put through the scanner. Who doesn't go through the body scanner? Someone who has something to hide, that's who. No, I'm not willing to listen to any argument that it is against someone's values or morals or cult beliefs. Take a long hard look at WHY it is that flying has become such an ordeal. Then try to present an argument that it is against your values or morals or cult beliefs. There is one reason why flying has become such a nightmare and one reason, only. I don't think I have to spell it out.

Here's what I'm pissed off about today, though. And it is not because my luggage gets searched, by hand, in Doha, by someone who is touching everyone else's stuff without even changing her gloves - yeah, that lip gloss you just opened and stuck halfway up your nostril? You can keep it. I don't want it now. Those sneakers in the bag before mine that you just man-handled and now you are opening my eye shadow to rub one of your filthy dirty gloved fingers across it to make sure it is powder and not cream? You can have the eye shadow, too. Sure, maybe you think I have some sort of germ phobia - I do - but again, that isn't why I'm pissed off about flying. Not even pissed about the full body scan.

I am pissed off because I cannot take my knitting on the plane. That's right. Knitting! Why? Because the knitting needles could be used as a weapon by someone if they fell into the wrong hands. Yep. Knitting needles are not allowed on planes. Is that like one of the most ridiculous things you have ever heard? No. Probably not. I can see how a knitting needle could be used as a weapon. I don't use two long needles, I use one circular needle. Think piano wire around someone's neck. Why that's an incredibly pleasant thought, isn't it?

So, let's see. Fly out of here to Doha. Sit in Doha for a couple of hours. Then get on the flight there to Washington, D.C. It is a 14 and a half hour flight. FOURTEEN AND A HALF HOURS on one flight. Can you even imagine how much knitting you could get done in that amount of time? Then I think I'm in Washington for three hours - it might be four - before I get on the final flight leg home. Knitting sure would pass the time for me. But, nooooo. No knitting needles allowed. Yarn? Sure. No problem. Just no needles.

Thanks a whole lot!


  1. I dislike the scanners. I dislike the fact that someone will essentially see me naked. I don't display myself naked for the world to see, so why should some idiot in a booth see me naked? It's not like they can't save and print out photos...and frankly, I'm no one's wank material.

    It's not like they actually catch anything, anyway. That underwear bomber could have walked through one of those without anyone detecting the powder in his undies.

    I'll happily drive or take the train anywhere I need to go. The train's more comfortable, anyway (and the car train is the best of both worlds - load car onto train, have personal vehicle in destination, no putting tons of miles on said car in the process of getting from A to B).

  2. No way you can have knitting needles on board! You might knot an Afghan!

  3. “Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.”
    — Lily Tomlin

    Or did mean some Other Phuckktards?

  4. The body-scan equipment is an interesting tech toy, but I have not seen anything that says it is actually effective in any meaningful way. And yeah, it makes me a bit squeamish even if it just resolves to make everyone look like a department-store window dummy before putting on whatever-is-being-advertised covering is put on.

    Yarn is allowed? But it can so easily be fashioned into a garotte!

    Come to that, what about shoes? Even after they have been cleared as explosive-free. I was present once when a guy was charged with assault-with-a-deadly-weapon -- he kicked a cop, and deserved to be charged with something, but that statute could be used against anyone/ for possessing a deadly weapon.

  5. One solution for the knitting needles- my friend uses the circular bamboo knitting needles and secures them as "hair chopsticks" before going through security. Just a thought...

  6. I can look in my purse at any given moment and find something that could be used as a weapon, one NOT on the "watch" list. After all, I worked with juvenile delinquents for 15 years. Those kiddies taught me a LOT about weaponry.

  7. "Flying is a privilege not a right."


    49 U.S.C. § 40103 : US Code - Section 40103: Sovereignty and use of airspace

    (a) (2) A citizen of the United States has a public right of transit through the navigable airspace. To further that right, the Secretary of Transportation shall consult with the Architectural and Transportation Barriers Compliance Board established under section 502 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (29 U.S.C. 792) before prescribing a regulation or issuing an order or procedure that will have a significant impact on the accessibility of commercial airports or commercial air transportation for handicapped individuals.


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