We're Just Smarter Than That

The loan thing. From a few days ago.

I found an escrow company that will help us.

Sent an e-mail to the family members telling them to contact the company - gave them the phone number and the e-mail - and said that we would have to make sure that the home equity loan was taken care of [even though we were originally told that there was NOTHING but the mortgage - no other liens or encumbrances of any kind] so that we'd be in second lien position - or we couldn't possibly help. Told them we wanted the mortgage statements and that they'd have to sign a release so we could get the information as to what is really owed, and we wanted social security numbers and an authorization to get a credit report from all three agencies. Well! How could I? Who do I think I am? [They are not going to do a loan this way. Their choice. Because we are not doing a loan any other way.] Man-oh-man. I am now on their "S-list" and at the top of it!

They actually thought that we were going to just send them a check, directly, for five times more than what you are allowed to "gift" someone without paying taxes, and think that they would take care of writing up a Promissory Note for us and record it and do all of the necessary legalities. Yeah. Right. You have got to be kidding! Do you think that DH and I are just country bumpkins who fell off a cabbage truck, yesterday? [No offense to country bumpkins.]

Supposedly the money was needed immediately - like last week, if not sooner. Must have it as soon as possible. Send it by Federal Express. [Okay. Sure thing.] The house was appraised at $1,300,000. a few years ago. They only owe X-amount, so they say, and have lots and lots of equity. Oh, really? Then go get a bank to give you the money. You can't, though. Why? How about far too many mortgages on the property - home equity lines, etc., some bad business decisions that you now have judgments against the house, and one of you - who is perfectly able - isn't even working!

Nope. No can do. You are going to have to lose the house, along with the lifestyle to which you have become accustomed. Not our problem. You never should have bought it in the first place. But you are so much wiser than anyone else in the family when it comes to real estate and investments and business decisions. We have heard so for years. In fact, I remember when you told DH he didn't know anything about real estate and you accused me of failing math when I asked for a calculator when you were trying to get us to go in on a "great deal" many years ago [that we said no - wisely - to]. Your numbers didn't add up then - when I needed the calculator - and your numbers don't add up now. Deal.

We are bad family members. And now, we will probably never get another Christmas card from them again. Our bad.